DUNFERMLINE – THE ALHAMBRA THEATRE – 8th MARCH 2019
As the planets aligned and the gods of domestic flights looked favourably down on Belfast International Airport, a minor delay actually meant the onward connections I needed to complete my journey fell perfectly into place and I arrived in Dunfermline slightly ahead of anticipated ETA. A short walk through the familiar cobblestones to my hotel for the evening and, after eventually finding the door into the bloody place, I got checked in and set about unpacking and freshening up for the evening ahead.
Got in touch with some fellow travellers to arrange meet-ups and find out which drinking emporium had been designated as base camp #1 – in fact John and Tracey were holed up in the room next door to mine – which proved to be the easiest meet-up of the night!! Organised, we headed towards the central Weatherspoon’s to meet up for the pre-gig social, but an initial reccy of the bar area left us devoid of any –inblack comrades in attendance. That was until we were about to leave through the other doors and bumped into Jason and Ray, neatly secluded behind a pillar, with Jason ready to pounce on any unsuspecting passers-by and regale them with his latest dissertation ‘The Theory of How Time and Too Many Song Ideas Are No Indication of the Quality of New Material Given a Cover Version is the Best Song Played’. To be fair, some very valid points were made (no matter how depressing) and, I was (believe it or not) out-soap-boxed – this diatribe putting any of my SLF-related ramblings well and truly in the shade. Cheers Jase – as we traipsed off in stunned silence, heads bowed, contemplating the doom-laden future of the band, the premiere and the ‘failed’ kazoo ensemble.
We grab a table and order some food and drink(s). Before the food is delivered, the numbers exponentially increase as a blizzard of black T-shirts blows into the bar and join us in refreshments (both solid and liquid). Stories from the Aberdeen gig last night are passed on and general chitty-chat conversation (ranging from hotels/apartments to the Black Country versus India in a ‘who can understand who’ over the phone). Roddy and I got involved in a conversation about our records and record collecting – reminiscing over the pre-internet age of actual real-life record shops and fairs – and some of our greatest finds there-in. Happy Days.
Fed and watered, a quick trip back to my room to pick up tickets and money finds me dozing off on top of the bed for an hour before the socialinblack gets underway for real. We head further uptown to the East Port Bar (an often frequented bar prior to the walk down to The Alhambra Theatre) and find a coterie of FiBs seated at the back. Greetings exchanged we settle in once more, catching up with old friends and after multiple phone calls and messages, we are soon joined by others finding their way to meet up. As the gig time approaches the crowd breaks up – some going in early for Dr. Feelgood, some to get to the barrier, some to meet up in other pubs – but the T2N-ers hold fast until the last drops are drained from our glasses.
Down the hill towards the ornate venue, across the street and we are inside. Through the various ticket checks, searches and once ‘cattle-branded’ by an aggressive granny with her stamp, the first people I bump into are Owen & Jacquie and after a quick catch-up, it’s through the doors and into a scene from ‘The Good Old Days’ (except where there once were big hats and bigger dresses – it’s (mostly) bald heads and black T-shirts) awaiting the entertainment on stage. A squeeze through the masses, traversing the ground floor until I find ‘my spot’ (shock-horror – JJ’s side, about 10 rows from the front) which is also quite close to the exit to the Smoking Area. I still had the chance to chat with Owen and Roddy before a tap on my shoulder results in seeing the Mighty Les (steeple-jockey extraordinaire) and grab a quick chat with him.
The lights dim, the fairground-esque keyboards pour out from the speakers – you can feel the hairs on the back of your neck rise and almost taste the static electricity in the air, generated by the anticipation of the audience. The noise levels reach fever pitch as the band members appear out of the darkness and onto the stage. Half expecting a different opener to the previous shows I’ve seen thus far, I was a bit disappointed to hear the opening chords and staccato drum-roll as ‘Tank’ gets us underway – but only a bit. The set-list tonight follows on in similar vein from recent gigs, but it is still relatively ‘fresh’ and the new songs are beginning to sound familiar – I can pick out refrains and lyrics. ‘This Song Will Not Get Me Over You’ has been discovered to be a cover version (see Jason’s rant above) and although initially disappointed to hear this news, Martin (from Disciples Of Spess) did provide an explanation as to how this song entered into the realm of The Stranglers and somewhat appeased my wrath – it is a fuck-off great tune. A smoke break during the slow section of GB & ATS was gratefully received (not only by me) before returning once more into the fray. Tonight some numbers had been dropped in favour of ‘Five Minutes’, ‘Something Better Change’ and the mind-blowing (still!!) ‘Down In The Sewer’. The quintessential Strangler theme song fits perfectly in with the new backdrop and the stage set-up has changed from Belfast and Dublin – with the introduction of some lit up ‘industrial’ fans and the amp backline camouflaged in ‘brick’. Happy to hear some ‘new’ old songs introduced into the set – it is starting to look like JJ’s comments about mixing it up across the gigs was true. Further justification is supplied by my first hearing of ‘Payday Mayday’ (another of the new songs being played throughout the tour). It shows Baz has perhaps been influenced by Hugh after all – with the inspiring rhyming couplets?? ‘Walk On By’ is played as the first encore allowing me another smoke. I walk out to only one guy lighting up a ciggie and he says “That ain’t Walk On By is it?“ Answering in the affirmative, he quickly stubs out his butt and runs back into the hall LOL. I’m left standing alone – not even the Security wanted to miss Miss Warwick’s improvised cover. No matter what anyone tells you, the encore version of WOB is not shortened or edited – it’s the fucking three yearlong version and does give you ample time for a second smoke-break. Ain’t that right John? Back in before it had finished, the powerful bass rumblings indicative of the pre-amble into ‘No More Heroes’ begin and the crowd erupts. And so endeth the lesson – the band take their bow centre-stage and depart. A really enjoyable gig – not even spoilt by the technical fault to Baz’s guitar during the start of ‘Duchess’ nor JJ tongue-tripping over the lyrics in ‘SBC’.
Post-gig gathering, both inside and out, see the plan emerge for where we were going afters. P.J. Molloy’s gets the nod and eventually everyone gets moving – a black caterpillar wending it’s way toward another watering hole. A fair few have made the trip and our wee crowd amalgamate around the fireplace with a dungaree-less Oor Billie (sic) seated upon his upturned bucket. Some people who can’t read Google maps &/or thought the gig was in Kilmarnock had to get a taxi to the hotel they had booked (miles outside town) said their goodbyes and before long we were the last men standing. A relatively short dander, uphill and down, via a quick stop at a kebab shop (cue hiccup attack) saw us return to the hotel and straight to bed.
GLASGOW – THE O2 ACADEMY – 9th MARCH 2019
Awakening with one of those ‘it must have been the kebab’ (rather than the copious amounts of alcohol) hangovers, the thought of breakfast was as appealing as the thought of Brexit – neither hard nor soft – there certainly wasn’t a backstop as could be seen from the newly decorated toilet bowl!! Anyway, I eventually made my way down for a smoke and met up with J&T in the restaurant area. By this stage I was slowly on the mend, so a glass of OJ, one slice of buttered toast and a bowl of Kellogg’s finest flakes were the order of the day. I still could not have faced a fry – although I was more successful that Tracey’s valiant effort to have two, not eat one, pay for another and could have had it free!! DOH!! I had been kindly offered a lift to Glasgow with Wendy & Steve – but chose the honourable path and took the bus. Quicker, cheaper and straight road into Glasgow – I arrived before one o’clock – and rather than the expected storm, I was treated to quite a sunny reception weather-wise. I took a more convoluted path through town as I re-acquainted myself with the street geography – past the Central Station, past the Crystal Palace and out along the Clyde to my accommodation. It was early, but if you don’t ask, you don’t get – so I enquired if a room was ready to check in? As the Receptionist checked the computer – and I was expecting a negative response – the Manager came over and said “We have rooms ready. No problem“. Result. Checked in, up to the room – the obligatory Three ‘S’s taken care off – I pop out for something light to eat and a quick nosey around Mono Records. Nothing Strangler related to be found (apart from a cheeky Jack promoting his band The Common Cold by placing the LP front and centre of the rack LOL). Back to watch a bit of TV before heading out to meet Davy at The 13th Note for the annual pre-gig gig.
Walking into the bar, there she was sat waiting – the one, the only Davy (a.k.a. Alias, MiB81, Grizzly Adams, Jake Burns in a false beard…) reading a paper – trying to look all intellectual. Handshakes and man hugs – great to see this man. Drinks duly purchased (starting early …again!!) we caught up on the craic – trying to avoid set list talk because this was Davy’s first of the tour and he had avoided (most) news and social media. Audrey arrived with today’s travel and gig companion Kenny (he ain’t no Sandra!!) and introduced him. As it transpires we are both friends (virtually and in reality) with Buck (lead singer with Belfast band The Defects) and we yarn about that. Audrey tries to point out the this Buck character cannot have distinguished taste with you two as friends – at which point I said, “Well we’re both your friends but you aren’t a ‘Buck’!!“ Realising what I said, I caught Kenny’s eye and that set us off. The penny dropped for Audrey a split-second later, unfortunately she had just taken a drink and that made the whole thing worse as we are now doubled up laughing. Audrey eventually restores some sort of normality – only to turn around and say “Don’t make me laugh with a mouthful I’ll only end up spitting it out“. Well, by the time we had picked ourselves up off the floor, it was time to go down to the Dungeon and take in the band,
Descending the stairs into a scene reminiscent of The Hope & Anchor, the band were entertaining the troops as we paid our entrance fee. It was here we were treated to the revolutionary sound of ex-Vex frontman Paddy’s new beat combo – Revolution Sound. Mixing it up and adding their own spin on some punky tune-smithery, the addition of keyboards adding to the overall riot of sound (both audibly and visually). I noted that Paddy’s bass playing style was (literally) quite revolutionary in itself and the overall effect was pretty amazing. Although the set was littered with many a Strangler tune – a litany of other punk rock and new wave classics were played – the highlight for me being the band’s ‘take’ on The Buzzcocks’ ‘Autonomy’. The partisan crowd were definitely up for it – dancing the afternoon away. Another excellent time spent underground – in the dungeon, without the torture. Superb.
Around to The Crystal Palace for the ‘real’ pre gig social – bumping into Pete and Eddy (as one popped out for, and one popped up for, a bite to eat). Already the middle ground was heaving with the cladinblack – chatting, drinking and enjoying the craic – old friends, new friends, greetings and rounds being bought. The ‘family’ swelled as it got closer to gig-time. The lookey-likeys were also making their presence felt – not only did we have Jake – but Marc, Trev (or Simon) swinging his pants and who could forget Hinge & Bracket making their presence known (although that was post-gig). It was decided for a number of reasons to head to the venue earlier than usual – and that turned out to be a great decision with the timing perfect.
Outside the O2 and about to go in, I lost Davy but gained John and we wended our way down through the throng, managing to successfully survive the steps (twice) down to the usual standing point. Tonight’s set list was exactly the same as last night’s (without the cock-ups) – so much for changing it up every night !! However, I missed more than the usual two songs – the GB/ATS breather was extended somewhat as we decided to try and get a drink in the balcony bar prior to returning to ‘the spot’ and by the time the smallest (but slowest) queue in the world eventually got served, we were returning to ‘DNB’. One smoke break was suffice this evening and once the final note(s) were played, it was all down the front for the photo opportunity. I had noticed a cameraman on stage throughout the gig – just there to please Jason and his conspiracy theory regarding the film perhaps?. After we were all standing and the ‘group’ photo taken, we were asked to sing and shout whilst being filmed by Mr Boni – IMHO he would have been better working on finishing the edit rather than (a couple of weeks) before the (supposed) premiere, being out filming a.n.other concert. Filing out into Glasgow’s nightlife, it was back to The Crystal Palace for rehydration.
Great craic back in the pub, dissecting and discussing all things Strangler – until a few of us went out for a smoke, only to be refused re-entry as the bar had stopped serving. The righteous Mr Bouncer was having none of our pleas to get back to our friends – so fuck that, we said our good-byes and made our separate ways back to the hotel(s). As I made my way back towards the river I happen upon Jason & Ray saying their farewells and Jase offers to escort me back as it was sorta on his way. We ended up back in the hotel bar (he ain’t as green as he is cabbage looking yon Mr Browning LOL). After setting the world to rights and fixing bugger all, I departed for bed – it was an early start homeward and the weather forecast wasn’t looking too good.
Morning (again) and after checking out (again breakfast was a non-starter) I got up to the airport in time to see most of the match in one of the bars, managed to force down a Boot’s meal deal and (surprisingly) found my flight was on time. It was the roughest flight I have experienced – I’m not a bad flyer, but the turbulence was wild – the plane ‘dropped’ numerous times and also was blown sidewards as well. It didn’t help the ‘funny’ cnut beside me cracking jokes with his mates about how Cardiff City had organised the flight!! It was just as well I hadn’t heard the news about that Ethiopian air-crash!! We landed with some difficulty – but land we did (to great cheers from most of the passengers) and deposited back on home turf in time for me to get into the house for the last football game of the day.
Phase 2 of this year’s Tour over – great craic, great company – big thanks to everyone for making it another eventful time in Strangler-land. Roll on Newcastle (and beyond)
ALTERNATIVE MULLSTER 